Editor’s Feedback

This personal account was very enjoyable and fun to read. I especially liked how she included a lot of information, but it didn’t make it overwhelming; it added to the piece. The overall feeling of the piece was positive. She talked about a couple difficult/negative aspects of her life, but kept it positive throughout, which shows the reader who she really is and how she remains positive even in difficult times. There were a few punctuation errors, as well as a couple grammar issues, but those were minor. They didn’t greatly detract from the story. Overall, this post made me smile, and she did a wonderful job telling her own story!

Headline: (–/10) We emailed each other our stories and she didn’t include the headline, so I don’t know exactly what it is!

Lead: ( 10/10) It was straight to the point, which drew me in.

Angle: (10/10) Theme/Angle = How she got to where she is today, and what her plans for the future are.

Quotes: (10/10) She had a lot of great quotes, which allowed me to feel like I was getting to know her through her post.

Good Structure: (10/10) Had a nice flow and didn’t meander. Had a purpose.

Use of Language: (10/10) It was written very well, and used a variety of vivid words.

Punctuation & Grammar: (8/10) There were a few errors (ex. self conscience should be self conscious) but none that detracted greatly from the writing.

Impact: (10/10) Like I said before, I really felt that I was able to get to know her a little bit through her writing.

Natural Flow: (10/10) It flowed nicely & wasn’t choppy. I didn’t feel lost throughout the writing, either, which was good.

Publisher’s Decision: I would buy it, but only after the grammar/punctuation errors have been fixed! It was a really great piece, but needs slight touching up to make it perfect! Definitely worth reading!


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